It is so difficult to be a teenager and young adult in this day of age. Our friends, peers, bosses, social media, magazines, TV, boyfriends, girlfriends, sisters, and enemies all influence who we think we should be. We rely on another persons opinion of us to dictate our actions or decisions. Have you ever thought about how much you actually allow someone else's, even a strangers, opinion of what your doing cause you to stop or continue that action? Given, if it is something actually inappropriate then that is different, but we are talking about completely acceptable activities that are perceived as "weird" or "odd" or "stupid". Have you ever been completely rocking out in the car and had some stranger pull up next to you and look at you like you are from another planet? What did you do? Did you get embarrassed and stop or just continue doing what you were doing? What about bigger things? What about when you're friends make fun of you because you're the only one who hasn't slept with their boyfriend or you are the only one who doesn't drink on the weekends? Do you laugh and blow them off or do you take it to heart and then decide to make moves in your relationship that you aren't really ready for? If you allow others to decide who you are going to be that day or make choices for you, then you will grow up to be who everyone else wants you to be without ever really becoming the real you. You will become bits of pieces of everyone who influenced you. Now, that isn't all bad. Those who influence you for the better are a blessing, but in this post we aren't talking about those people.
I have a friend who is like a little sister to me. I love her to pieces. But she has lost a lot of confidence because of how girls have hurt her in the past. She bought these adorable shoes and wore them to school one day but because of people lightly teasing her for standing out a little bit (they were cowgirl boots) for being the only one wearing them that day, she hasn't worn them since then because she was embarrassed. Its sad to see this girl who is absolutely gorgeous, she really is, and athletic, and sweet get so overwhelmed by what people had to say about her outfit. In a perfect world other people wouldn't drag her down like that, or at least if they did, she would blow off their opinions.
As girls, we basically live to please and impress and be excepted, some more than others. Whether or not you agree that this is a true statement, I firmly believe it. We stop dancing and singing in our cars if we get weird looks, we don't wear that shirt again if the guy we like thinks its ugly, we cry when a mean girl says we are too fat or that we look anorexic, we stop trying as hard in class if someone calls us a goody two shoes. As older girls we let our bosses run us over because we are to scared to politely stand up for ourselves, we allow the men in our life take us for granted, we are to afraid to go to the gym without makeup because we will get judged. All our life we bow down to others opinions of us! If you allow yourself to get unjustly criticized by someone else then the message you are relaying to the person is that you don't value yourself enough to stand up for yourself and that that person is correct in the way that he or she is treating you. No! You deserve respect and the second you start letting people know that you wont sit here and let yourself be treated any less than you deserve, that is the second people start valuing and treating you that way too. It starts with you. When you portray that you deserve better you will slowly start to receive it. People will either see a strong girl or a meek one who is too afraid to tell people to treat her better than she has been.
If you love yourself, then that's whose opinion really counts. It sounds insanely corny but its the truth. I didn't believe this quote until I forced myself to try to live it. I had a boyfriend who I thought considered me to the be the most amazing girl ever. Low and behold he had been cheating on me the entire relationship. I started to look at myself and think things like "if I had been more mysterious instead of weird and crazy he wouldn't have cheated" or "if I was skinnier" or "if my nose looked different". But in reality, it took until a good friend told me to get over myself that I realized that nothing I did could have prevented him from cheating on me. He's just a bad dude who can't hold on to the good things he has. His choice had nothing to do with me. I am pretty. And I am good enough. Once I finally realized how much I had to offer, I stopped letting other people dictate how I thought of myself that day. It so empowering to decide for yourself who you are instead of letting another person choose.
I encourage you as a challenge to push your limits of comfort when it comes to building self confidence. Purposely dance and sing like a dork when a car pulls up next to you and sees. Where high heels even if you're already 6 feet tall. Order the regular coke when everyone else is getting diet. YOU are your own person and YOU are wonderful exactly how you are.
Picture: https://www.google.com/search?q=self+confidence
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