I really enjoyed the first online journal entry I did because I felt like I was getting out my true personality and coming off as more "human" than just a stranger over the internet. So I want to do it again. Today I am more feeling along the lines of nostalgic and sentimental, maybe even a little subdued? I am about to face one of the largest changes of my life thus far and while I have been excited for months anticipating this next step, many other feelings have surfaced within these last weeks.
My large and exciting change is a move I am making five hours away from my hometown. I am going alone without family and friends to start a new chapter and "find myself". I didn't realize though that through this alteration in my life's path that my current friendships would morph or even be lost. I naively assumed that those I have been friends with for years would be ones I would keep for years in the future as well. Through this transition I have also learned that most of the hardships I face in my new home will be ones I will have to face alone until I develop new friendships there as well. I feel very singled out and almost as if I have already been forgotten though I haven't left yet. Amidst all of this excitement I didn't anticipate the loneliness I feel now as I approach my moving date. Given, there will be people I meet and relationships I establish that I will treasure for the rest of my life and my new home will provide extensive opportunities and memories for which I am looking forward too so incredibly much. But for right now as I am living in the grey area between new experiences and clinging to my past life, I just feel alone and scared.
I think that the best advice for someone going through a life change is that you really need to get to know yourself first and throughout the process. You are about to spend a lot of time alone and dealing with feelings and situations that those close to you may or may not understand. Knowing yourself and being comfortable with who you are will help you to accept the inevitable moments where the only person who can help you is you. Becoming comfortable with yourself is also a process in which you truly evaluate what matters in your life and start to form the future you envision from that versus the future path you may be headed down otherwise. Sometimes it is better to walk alone through change than walk with people who will hold you back or keep you from where you should be. Even if you have loving family and friends, there are just certain things that one has to go through by themselves to build character and strength. That is perfectly alright. Those that you love will be waiting on the other side.
Another huge idea to remember is that change doesn't last forever. This period of unstableness will end, just as everything does. This shifting in God's plan for your life is one that He will work for good just as He promises. The stress and worry that you may be experiencing with a large decision you are making will pass and your life will find itself on solid ground again. Thinking about this helps me push through the loneliness and worry I face because I know that I will once again find amazing people and an amazing atmosphere to thrive in.
Hopefully this post related to some of you. I know that it felt good for me to get these words off my chest in a second online journal entry.
Thankyou!
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