Losing Friends

    

 

 

 

     Friendships are tricky. And losing friends can be even worse. Sometimes it is a blatant cut of communication and other times the separation comes discretely until one day two friends are just as much strangers to each other as they are to people they've never even met. But the hardest part about losing friends can sometimes be the acceptance and realization that it is okay and the right thing to do to move on without them. It is hard to know that someone you have loved for whatever period of time no longer has a purpose in your life and that a new journey is beginning for you that they aren't included in. Lonely days ensue and there is always a little part of the heart that is empty without their presence. Regardless of the situation behind the fall out though, at one point they were the person you went to when you had relationship issues, happy news, and when you just needed them to hate someone for no reason except simply because you did.
     It's okay to acknowledge how much you cherished their friendship while also respecting and cherishing yourself enough to let them out of your life when their time is done. That definitely isn't to say that the friends you lose are terrible people, or that you are either. It's only to say that everyone goes through life developing differently and acquires multiple relationships along the way but not necessarily keeping them the whole way. If someone is the same person and 25 as they were at 17 then that is not something that is beneficial. The hope is that as you age, your maturity increases, your ideas expand, and your mindset grows while your experiences guide it. Sometimes unfortunately the same friends you had at 17 just don't make it to when you are 25.
     But it still sucks losing someone. A lot. The key thing I have found that helps me get through the pain of having to adjust to life without an old friend is to remember the reason they're gone. I just have to remind myself that I deserve a better friend and that they deserve that for themselves as well. And sometimes friendships rekindle and people make up and that is fantastic. But sometimes they don't, and that's okay too. And there are times when you lose friends for absolutely no reason and you may always be in the dark as to why they decided they were over it. In those cases keep in mind the saying "everything happens for a reason". The reason may not be clear now, but later it will be. Later you will make a friend that becomes the biggest blessing in your life and you will see why it never worked out.
     Not every friendship fails, this post is only about the ones that do. I know people that have been friends for 50 years and have both changed and grown but still stayed close. Those friendships are ones that we should thank God for everyday because to have a friend that loves you through all your ups and downs is a true gift. Friendships should never be taken for granted and never let someone have a place in your life that doesn't deserve to be there.
     "Friends are family that you get to choose."